It’s like the moment right before the fight begins when the two 
contestants are circling around each other, staring into their opponents
 eyes, trying to psyche each other out.  You and your boss feel the 
tension, but have been skirting around each other for months now, 
avoiding the problem.  But then you make the first move… you throw a 
left swing at your boss by telling him you’ve received another job 
offer. You take momentary pleasure from seeing your boss scramble back 
onto his feet after the blow.   A time out is called and the air is 
still, but the suspense is palpable.  Thoughts of manipulation and mind 
games run through both your heads.  Then your boss fakes a move, leading
 you to think that his stomach is wide open for your next swing.  This 
is the counter offer.  But then right as you start your swing, his knee 
comes up nailing you (in a very sensitive area) and knocking the wind 
out of you.  You’re down, and unable to get back on your feet. This is 
the result of falling for the counter offer.   While counter offers 
should be approached as simple business deals, it is often hard to avoid
 the emotional manipulation they present.  They have a certain lure to 
them and come rife with guilt, greed, fear and hurt pride. In a world 
where money has become the primary motivation behind so many 
undertakings, can you truly afford the counter offer?
On the outside, a counter offer looks like a shiny new toy under the 
Christmas tree.  Especially in this market full of doubt and insecurity,
 more people might be apt to accept the counter offer.  The risk of 
starting all over again with a new company may not seem worth it.  It is
 easier to remain in your comfort zone and avoid change-including the 
pain of packing up and moving all of your belongings.  There’s an 
emotional aspect to the situation as well.  Seeing your boss beg for you
 to stay and offer you a raise is bound to touch upon your pride.  Your 
boss may tell you that this was a raise/promotion he was planning to 
give you soon anyways, or that he can’t afford to lose such a valuable 
member of his team. Therefore, you should be prepared for the counter 
offer upon resignation.  This will allow you to think clearly and avoid 
making a decision complicated by emotions.   Consider why you were 
searching for another position in the first place.  If your motivation 
wasn’t purely money but instead lack of advancement, or even just an 
ill-fitted environment, don’t be fooled into thinking these things will 
magically disappear with a raise of your salary.  Really think… will 
more money fix the problem?
However, there is a good chance that your boss isn’t thinking about you 
when making his counter offer.  Your boss is probably thinking about how
 his performance and next raise will be harmed by your resignation.   
How he may not have time to find and train a replacement before the end 
of tax season, or even how finding a replacement might jeopardize his 
much anticipated Hawaii vacation.  Now that he knows that you are not 
loyal to the company his intent will only be to keep you short term.  
Buying your time now means that he can let you go according to his time 
table and not yours.  In a few months after the busy season is over, or 
after he’s found a suitable replacement, he may let you go with little 
or no notice.  85% of employees who accept counter offers are gone 
within eighteen months.  Your boss now understands that money is your 
primary motivation and that you can be bought at the last minute.  
You’re perceived as a risk, but also you’ll be expected to justify your 
raise and work harder. 
Hal Reiter, journalist for Forbes says that “in [his] 25 years of 
experience, [he] has learned that accepting a counter offer is usually 
career suicide.”  Once your boss learns of your disloyalty you will most
 likely no longer be considered for career growth or advancement.   And 
when it comes time to scale back, you may be the first to go.  
Emotionally it is an insult to your pride and honor. It can affect the 
way your coworkers view you, and hurt your relationships with them. And 
honestly, if you have to threaten to leave in order to get a promotion 
or a raise, it may be time to rethink the company you’re working for 
anyways. Also, where is all this money coming from all of a sudden?   
How come one day you’re worth $40,000 and the next you’re worth $52,000 
without doing anything but threatening to resign?  In reality, the raise
 is only temporary until your company is ready to fire you.   By 
accepting a counter offer you’re burning many bridges.   You’re no 
longer on good terms with your boss, but also with the company who made 
you an offer.   So when your current boss lays you off (most likely in 
the near future) there is no chance of you finding a job at the other 
company. 
Many recruiters also keep a blacklist of employers who have accepted 
counter-offers in the past.   This information can be an obstacle to 
getting any job in the future.   “Remember: Recruiters never forget a 
buy back.” (Reiter, Forbes).  Accepting a counter offer can haunt you 
for the rest of your career. 
I would suggest talking to your boss openly BEFORE you accept any other 
offers.   Let him know you have issues with your current position.   
Clearly lay your problems out in front of him.   Let him know that you 
are considering looking elsewhere if you can’t find solutions to your 
concerns.   Your boss won’t feel threatened and may be much more 
flexible in helping you.   If you find that your list of cons about your
 current job is much longer than the pros, it is probably time to find a
 new position and resign.   But, BEWARE:  don’t let the wrath of the 
counter offer ensnare you!
 
 
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